Setting Boundaries - How to Help Your Child Master Their Surroundings

Imagine a playpen. And imagine that the playpen is a metaphor for a set of boundaries that you believe, when in place, will allow your child the freedom to explore their environment along with boundaries to keep them safe.

Playard Baby

Now, imagine that you set your two year old in this playpen and initially they are none to happy about it. They think they can handle more than you think they can handle. They think they can eat 10 Oreo's not just 1. They think they can do without a nap - yet you know better. They think it's okay to crawl up on the counter, but you know the stove is hot.

Playard Baby

You are confident and the boundaries are clear to both you and your child. They are set. You aren't changing them. They are age appropriate, they allow the child enough freedom to explore and keep them safe physically, emotionally and intellectually and still give you some peace of mind. They can handle their surroundings but they haven't mastered them yet. They need practice and this is where they will practice until they have mastered their surroundings.

Within a day or two, your child figures out you are serious about the boundaries and instead of fighting to push the boundaries, they settle into their environment and begin to really explore it. They become stronger, more capable. Because their world is organized and orderly and because their parents are firm and kind and consistent, they can relax and enjoy the best parts of childhood - exploration.

Eventually, they master this new landscape, and then, one day, maybe a week or a month or three months from now, the child begins to push against those boundaries again. That is your cue that your child has mastered their environment and is ready to move into a metaphorically bigger "playpen."

And so you create a new, updated set of boundaries that are in line with your child's abilities and you plop them down in their new bigger "playpen."

And again, the child bucks at these restrictions, settles down, explores, learns, masters and then is ready for the next set of challenges.

I know it might sound very simplistic, but this simple metaphor helped me create 100 or more playpens for each of my five kids. And each one of those kids was different which meant that the boundaries were different. Without this system, I shudder to think of the chaos we would all have been living in.

If you are searching for a way to determine what boundaries to set and then how to set them, use this metaphor or create your own. It doesn't really matter. What does matter is your ability to create a set of boundaries that supports your child, their rate of growth and the confidence to enforce these boundaries until the child has mastered the skills.

Setting Boundaries - How to Help Your Child Master Their Surroundings
Playard Baby

Toy Organizers For Kids Cocktail Ottoman Tray Truglo Rifle Scope